Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
