your thong is hanging out like whoa
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just invented taco cereal.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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