how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
