WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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