went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
