When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
