so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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