Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize