Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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