You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
