Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
