she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
