I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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