Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
tell me about the eggs
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
