My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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