Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
