Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
