saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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