Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
