i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
