Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
