bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
