I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize