8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
