Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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