you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
