I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
