she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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