Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
