Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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