oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Randomize
