yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize