is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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