rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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