Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
