It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
