Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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