He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
