ugly people sure do ruin things
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
