Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize