Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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