are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize