Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
