Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
