Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
