have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
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