nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize