Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize
