pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
