Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Is Oprah even human
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
