just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
