when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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