God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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