Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize