I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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