No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
