3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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