you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
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