He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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