Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
