did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
