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• (770): View more from Georgia

  honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  you.

  (770): View more from Georgia

  oh yeah. preciate

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• (721): View more from

  That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  omg, i know.

  (721): View more from

  we're too high.

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• (201): View more from New Jersey

  My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs

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